Time to get real to what’s happening – and get used to it

Written BY Dina Zaman

The global recession has yet to hit our shores with full force, but Malaysians are already nervous.

THE year has been a little too exciting for many, including this writer. It’s come to a point that, in private and among friends, we confess that we are tired of it all.

The impending recession does not help. The shenanigans of celebrities and those in public office are exhausting us, and real life is getting tougher.

So when you’re being positive amid all this gloom and doom, you can come off as a Pollyanna. Everyone else is worried about the state of everything, and you’re trying to vibrate positivity.

Somehow, it’s politically incorrect and insensitive to be this chirpy. Frankly, very few of us will have the time and energy to want to reflect on our lives. There are bills to pay, families to clothe and feed, and the potential of jobs taken away. What is there to be so happy about?

Recessions happen every decade, but this time, everyone is affected. The rich, the middle class and the poor. Misery loves company, as they say, and it’s nice to gripe in company.

The party could not have gone on, though. It was, as a friend said, insane. You should have seen what was going on in his company, he added.

Unlimited expense accounts. The jet-setting and meeting with people who made or broke deals. Working with fresh graduates who earned 10 times more than when he first started working. The spending and partying. It all had to end.

And though the recession has yet to hit Malaysia in full force, the signs are already there. A person I know is bewildered by his friends not returning his calls. His fall from society and the boys’ club is perplexing. I tell him it’s because everyone is penny-pinching these days.

I do not tell him the truth: that he is persona non grata now because the days of wheeling-dealing on high stakes are over. At the end of the day, in that world, it’s all about money.

Women gripe about not being able to shop as much as before, but it’s harder for men.

For people like my friends and me who work in a field where pay is not at corporate rates, and whose friends are just the average Malaysian (I can imagine some people shuddering at the thought of being friends with the Average Malaysian), life goes on, though we note that RM100 does not go far these days.

However, I suppose for those who are in revered circles, the fall from social grace is something that they cannot fathom. After all, money can buy class, and cuts across all races, and they had had that social cachet for a while.

Malaysia has yet to be hit by the global recession, but Malaysians are already nervous. It can be hard to be a Pollyanna during these times, but stay positive we must.

I don’t know about you, but come March 8, 2009, I’ll be an exhausted bunny. Not a month passes without an epic socio-political drama. I am not a political analyst, and neither am I political, but as a reading and concerned Malaysian, like all my family and friends, we’re pretty much tired of it all.

We understand that parts of democracy and growth are facing challenges and dealing with changes, but how much longer can the current goings-on be promoted as governance? And when will Malaysia not depend on personality-driven politics?

To regain my sanity and sense of balance, I resolve not to read news for a week. It is going to be hard, but I think I need that distance. It’d be good if the media fast lasts a month, but I don’t think I am that saintly.

When one is too close, one does not see the bigger picture. I may be presumptuous, but I think Malaysians have had too much to swallow, and that we need a break, a break from all that drama unfurling in our beloved nation.

I’d like to think that a self-imposed introspective period may actually be beneficial.

Work beckons. I leave you with some home truths that Bill Gates reputedly threw at a bunch of American youths:

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will not make US$60,000 (RM219,000) a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger-flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades, and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffeeshop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

Duchenne Smile...

Smile is one of the human's facial expression. Besides the lips, a smile can also be found around the eyes. It is known as the "Duchenne Smile". Customarily a smile maybe an expression denoting pleasure, happiness, or amusement, but it can also be an involuntary expression such as grimace.

Happiness is most often the motivating cause of a smile. We can smile open or close mouth. We can also tell from it if it is genuine or vice versa... This is where Duchenne Smile comes in place.

A Duchenne smile contracts the zygomatic muscles of the cheek and eye, which forms the crow's feet. The crow's feet indicate that the smile is genuine and that the smiler is truly happy.

So the theory does apply to everyone...

Tell me are you at the happiest now? How genuine is your smile? Are you happy? Are you really happy? Do you know if I am happy?


Now you know, your smile can betray your all... Because and only because, we can tell from our smile if we were really happy at that particular moment.

Reply from GOD!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.


He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose,
cooked breakfast for his mate,

Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then, it was already 1P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry, vacuum,
Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper,
He cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher,
Folded laundry,
Bathed the kids,
And put them to bed.

At 09 P.M he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.'